15 Shades of Gray - part 5

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I Thought Debt Was a Negative - Silly Me

We live in a nutty world.  Nuttier than a squirrel's stash in the winter.

I had a conversation with my bank two hours ago that still has me shaking my head.

My husband and I have a joint checking/savings account.  In addition, I have a separate checking/savings account.  Not because we divide the money, or I want more chocolate than he thinks is reasonable.  I simply stash funds in the second savings account until the water heater springs a leak, or the car needs new brakes, or some catastrophe occurs as life rolls along.  This savings account is simply a holding cell until the unexpected happens.

I never use the checking part of this account, never have.  For ten years, it's had all of $3.50 in it.  I don't even think about it, forget I have it.

Yesterday, I got a letter from our bank stating that for three months, I've been over drawn on this checking account.  My balance is now -$2.50.  What?    

I called the bank.  A very nice woman named Nicole looked into it and then asked me, "Do you have a daughter?"

"Yes," I said warily.  Had our girl been swiping a dollar a month from this forgotten account of mine? 

"Did she have a car loan with us?" Nicole inquired.

"Yes."  I wondered where this was going.

"It looks like that's been paid off," Nicole informed me.

"Uh-huh."  I think we co-signed for the loan, which was paid off this past summer.  "Okay...."

"Oh, I see," Nicole said.  "You've been moved from a platinum account to a gold account."

I'm still trying to put things together.  "We got demoted because our daughter paid off her loan?"

"Well, you're now in a different status.  You have to maintain a certain balance in this checking account, or there is a fee."

I'm still thinking.  "Are you telling me we're being penalized because we have less debt?"

"It's not a penalty," Nicole said.  "You're simply in a different status."  She then said something about how we used to be at the platinum level, which was $2700, now we're at the gold level, which is $750.

"Let me understand this," I said.  "Because our daughter no longer owes you money, we have to keep a minimum amount of funds in this checking account, which we don't use, or we will be fined."

"Correct.  You're at a different level now."

"Yeah, I get that," I said.  "We've been bumped down a notch.  So instead of getting our daughter's money, you require more of ours.  It looks like the bank benefits from our family being in debt." 

Nicole kind of chuckled.  "Yeah, that's how it works.  Paying off the car loan is what changed things."

Am I really hearing this?  This is insane!   "Well, you know, Nicole, I'm not going to use this checking account.  I've never used it.  Can I get rid of it?"

"You can close the account," she said.

"Can I keep the savings without the checking?"

"Yes.  But you can't go online to pay any bills if you don't have both."

"I don't do online banking from this account," I said. "I move the savings money over to our joint checking when we need it.  Can I still do that?"

"Oh, yes," Nicole assured me.

"Close the checking account," I said.  Before it costs me one more penny.  Before I have to take out a loan to save money.  I can't believe I just typed that.

Nicole tapped away and removed the checking account.  I'm surprised she didn't charge me anything to do it. 

I admit I don't have a high finance mind; I don't understand Wall Street and interest rates, but shouldn't you be rewarded for paying your bills?  Shouldn't you get a higher status for being responsible?  Like I said, NUTTY. 

I have no idea how being only a gold member at my bank will change my life.  I didn't know I was previously a platinum member, so I'll now be paying attention to how my life degrades.  Gosh, once we pay off the last of our son's college loan in April, we'll probably tumble to the tin can level.

There's a lesson here somewhere, but darned if I know what it is. 
  

 

Making Butter (and other interesting things)

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Century-old Beauty

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BAGGING IT (30+ lunches for 30+ Days)

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December 2

Day two of my "write every day for a month" project.

Today's events.  Prepare yourself.

1.  I went to the gym and, while on the treadmill, watched the TODAY show.  Bobby Flay judged a meatball contest.   I also watched the story of the original Rin-Tin-Tin dog.   I learn so much while trying to burn fat. 

2.  I got a Krispy Kreme donut on the way home. 

3.  Gave Pops a buzzy haircut.

4.  Spent twenty minutes helping Mom find a missing $100 check.   It was in her wallet.

5.  Did some Christmas shopping with my daughter.  With coupons, we got two nice sweatshirts and a Godiva chocolate bar for a total of eight dollars.  Yay Kohls! 

6.  We went to the craft store and got some art supplies, the coolest of which is this art supplies bag.

It has pockets galore for paints and brushes and utensils and chocolate bars.

This is part of our daughter's December 2 page in her "paint every day for a month" book.

She'll fill in the squares with things she's grateful for, like Kohls coupons and Krispy Kreme donuts.

7.  I pulled the clothes in off the line just before it sprinkled.   I feel like I outsmart the weather when this happens.

8.  I dozed off while checking facebook.  

9.  My friend called me to say that, after her ultrasound, it was determined that her suspicious breast lump is nothing.   This news beats the art bag and non-rained-on clothes. 

Every day, big things put little things in perspective.

By the GRACE of GOD

This Thanksgiving, I'm grateful for many things.  

1.  My folks are not in the hospital.  

2.  We gained a new daughter-in-law recently.  

3.  We've been couponing since August, which has enabled us to stretch our dough and regularly donate goods to the needy.  

4.  We bought the final season of LOST this year, so now I can return to the island whenever I want to.  

5.  There's a very nice cop in town named Officer Miller.   

I know this, because I got pulled over a few days ago.  

I wasn't really speeding, as the speed limit was 35.  I was going 35.  The problem was that I was in a school zone, and, yep, it was school-zone time.  I was just tooling along, singing to the radio.

When the cop waved me over (he was standing in the street), I thought, Hmm, must be a problem at the high school.   My brain was out to breakfast. 

My daughter, who was in the passenger seat, said, "Were you speeding, Mom?  It's probably the school-zone thing." 

Well, yes, it was.  How embarrassing.  And stupid.  

The cop was friendly, Officer Miller.  He peered in the window and, spying my girl, said, "Dropping her off at school?"

My daughter kind of chuckled and said, "Oh no.  I'm a teacher."

I handed him my license and registration.  "We were just going to the gym," I added, like that would explain anything. 

"Where do you teach?" he asked my daughter.

"I used to teach at MCC (Melbourne Central Catholic)," she replied.  "But, I'm taking some time off, because...I'm in formation to become a nun."

Scribbling down all my personal information, the cop replied, "My daughter's thinking about becoming a nun."

I had been sitting meekly while they chatted past me.  Now, my head whipped to the cop.  I've never met anyone else whose daughter was considering the religious life. 

"Really?" my daughter said. 

"Does she go to MCC?" I asked. 

"No," he replied.  "She goes here.  She wanted some classes that MCC doesn't offer." 

"That's cool," my daughter said, referring to the nun thing. 

Done writing, Officer Miller said, "I'll be back in a minute, and you can be on your way."

My daughter and I were quiet for a minute.

"Wow," I murmured.  "How weird is that?  His daughter's thinking about becoming a nun."

"A Catholic family," she said.

Officer Miller returned and handed me my paperwork.  "Do you realize you were twenty miles over the limit?" he asked.

"No," I said, humiliated.  "I'm sorry.  I forgot about the school zone."

"We don't usually give warnings at twenty over," he informed me.  "It's just too fast."

"I understand," I said, ready for a $200 dollar ticket, and probably a point or two.  I was already dreading the online traffic school test.

"However," he continued, "considering the conversation we just had - and the fact that you and I share the same birthday - I'm going to let you go with a warning.  Because you seem like the type of person that would learn from a warning."

I was stunned.  "Thank you," I mumbled.  "I am.  I will."

He looked me in the eye.  "Just so you know, the fine for this would have been $459.00, and four points on your record."  He held up four fingers. 

I was shocked.  $459.00!  Four points!

"Oh my..."  I felt even worse.  Like what Julia Roberts said to Dermot Mulroney in My Best Friend's Wedding - pond scum.  And certainly unworthy of Officer Miller's mercy.  "I'm sorry."

"OK, then.  Take it easy.  Be safe."  He sauntered off, this angel-officer.

We sat there for another minute.  I hate driving after an encounter with a cop.  I want to go home and bury my face in the sofa.  "Holey, Moley," I said before I eased away from the curb. 

I don't remember the rest of the conversation with my daughter.  I was in a daze while we drove to the gym.  This incident stuck with me all day.

Twenty miles over the limit sounded terrible.  Like I was racing away from a bank robbery.  $459.00 sounded terrible.  Four points on my record sounded terrible.  The whole thing was awful.  Severe consequences.  For a thoughtless oversight.  No excuse.

By the grace of God, I was stopped by a nice, generous cop who shares my birthday and has a daughter who is open to God's call on her life.

I'm still shaking my head about it.  

It hit me today, if Officer Miller saw my birth date, he saw my weight too.  Just one more tidbit to make me grimace.

This is the yellow "offender's" copy of my warning ticket. 

I'm going to tape it to my windshield, so I will never forget the kindness of a stranger.  And the kindness of God.  And how He sure likes to play with me.

This is certainly my dough-stretcher deal of the week.  No coupon could have saved me $459 dollars.  

I realized something else too.  If you're going to get pulled over, it helps to have an almost-nun in the car.

BECOMING SNIPPY

I've taken on a new identity this past month.   I've seen it coming for awhile, but I've finally embraced it.

I've become a couponer.  (Or dough stretcher.)

I've intermittently used coupons in the past, but now I'm serious.  I created a 3-ring binder with baseball card sheets and homemade dividers.  

I take it with me on every outing, like a fashion accessory.

I got the couponing bug from my friend Jessica, who is a coupon whiz.  She created a program that lays out the best strategies for saving, and once I tried it, I felt like a bozo for not seriously using coupons earlier in my adult life. (CLICK HERE to check out Jessica's program) 
It's appalling the money I've unconsciously doled out over the years.

Coupons are FREE money.   I simply didn't give them much attention.   

Until the housing market went down the toilet.  And then, gas prices rose.  And then, our grocery bill began to climb.  And all we eat are vegetables and peanut butter.  (Not really, but it feels like it.)

Then, our home insurance sky-rocketed.  It rose 63%!!!  Can you believe it?  I get irritated just typing that.

I'm not complaining.  We are blessed in many ways, and certainly have more than we need.   But we can do better.

So I did some research, enlisted my daughter's help, and now we have fun every Sunday snipping the morning paper to shreds in search of deals. 

Compared to seasoned couponers, we're rookies.   But I've now seen the light.  And the wisdom of buying things only when you get a discounted price.   It really is possible.

My hubby cleared out the guest room closet yesterday, so we can begin to stockpile.  'Stockpile' is a word I never thought much about either (or maybe even used) until I began couponing.  But couponers do need a place to store the excess.  Stuff they won't need this week, but will need next month, or for months to come.

Here are five things I've learned about couponing so far:

1. You don't have to "drive all over town to save two dollars." 
Most non-couponers think you do.  It's simply not true.  I regularly shop at two grocery stores and two drug stores, and I'm only taking advantage of deals/sales/coupons at those stores.  You can drive all over tarnation if you want to (and you'd save more than two dollars, by the way), but you can still save by shopping at the stores you normally frequent.

2.  "Stacking" (one store coupon and one manufacturer's coupon on the same item) is the ultimate savings.  Especially if the item is on sale to begin with.  Whoo-eeee!  I love stacking.  It makes me feel like I'm smarter than the average bear.  

3.  In your Sunday paper, regarding the "deals of the week" flyers - you need to visit those stores on Monday.
Because by Tuesday or Wednesday, the road-runners have cleared the shelves.  The slugs who saunter in on  Thursday or Friday are going to miss out.   It's not important how I know this.  

4.  Couponing encourages and promotes long-term thinking.
This is my favorite part.  Because, I love long-term thinking.  For example, I always choose maintenance over "wait 'til it falls apart, then toss it, and buy a new one" thinking.  I'm a plan-ahead person.  Which can frustrate my husband at times, because he prefers to live in the here and now.   I guess you could say we're a good balance, but mostly it makes us just disagree on where to put extra money.

Did I just say "extra" money?  I must have had too much wine at lunch.

5.  On-going couponing enables you to donate extra goods to those less fortunate.  
This is the feel-good part.  To date (I've only been doing this for six weeks, and it takes some time to build a stockpile), I've been able to share some items with a friend who struggled this year, but I'm excited to do more.  Extreme couponing can turn into hoarding, and then you have to go to 12-step meetings to learn to let go of your surplus of Cheerios.  I want to avoid that. 

I'll touch on couponing now and then, as I become more savvy.   It's really quite the adventure. 

Here is our dough stretcher of the week:

Regularly 98 cents.   We got it for 23 cents!    HA!!!  You can't even buy a huge gum ball for 23 cents.  Costs you at least a quarter. 

I don't know why I get a kick out of this, but I do.