W is for Wills

My husband and I updated our wills recently.  I get why people put off doing this stuff.  I was in tears in our attorney's office.

Most of the process is boring and time-consuming.  Then you get to the part where you have to create a terrible scenario - you're dying, and do you want your loved ones to feed you, or not?  Do you want to keep living if you are in a coma?  If you don't want to live in that state, who has to decide to pull the plug?

I might have been more detached through this process if I was not a caretaker for my parents, who are almost 92 and 95.  The fact is that my heart is presented with these kinds of scenarios daily.  My folks are relatively fine at the moment, but their physical deaths are likely to be sooner than I'm ready for.  Most of my time is occupied with aging/declining/dementia issues, and I have more sad moments than I care to admit.

As I was debating these painful issues for myself, my parents and my love for them was right at the surface.  Our attorney is very kind and offered me some chocolate when I began to tear up.  He has a little plate of miniature candy bars right next to the coffee and tea assortments. 

I admonish all of you to get these documents in place.  They're not really for you, but for those you love who will be left behind when you are going, or gone.  Think about them and how hard these decisions will be if you do not give them some written, legal guidance. 

And make sure your attorney has some chocolate.


Rita said...

My dad's 94, not doing so well, and far away in Florida. I know what you mean. :)

Mari said...

We did this last year. It's not easy, but it sure feels good to have it done.
I see too many people in my work that haven't done this or had those discussions. It's so much easier on your family when those decisions are made ahead of time.

Jo-Anne's Ramblings said...

Since Tim and I have nothing we did our own wills making note of our funeral insurance policy number and such but really we have nothing as I said so it was simple

Christine said...

I get on my friends on a regular basis to get a will in order.yes, it is hard, but imagine how hard it would be for relatives to do. I always ask, "do you want your relatives to decide/fight over where your children will live?!?" Making out a will is an act of love.

I'm praying for you and all other caregivers. It is a difficult job, to say the very least.

Karen Mortensen said...

What a very powerful post. All the best to you and your family.