My head is so full this week with things to pray about. I'm not complaining; I turn to God easily when I need Him. But, honestly...it's the waiting that wears me down. Waiting to see how He's going to resolve things. Waiting for things to change, something to change. I know He is sovereign; I know He's in control, and my worry/anxiety doesn't change a thing. I know this. But (the big but), because I am a short-sighted, restless human, I want myself and everyone I love to be happy and peace-filled right away. Women are like that.
I'm going to attempt to lay my back pack of concerns at the Master's throne through this post. Getting things out of my head is always therapeutic for me. You, kind readers, are the beneficiaries of this brain dump.
1. I'm having skin issues. Moles that are "suspect" and spots called granuloma annulare that are benign, but ugly. I've had two biopsies in the past month.
My skin is broken and sore around one of my wounds because it's suddenly reacting to Band-aid adhesive. I want to stay home and wear nothing until everything heals. Not gonna happen.
2. Due to one unreliable co-worker, a young family member is having serious work issues. Enough to make him walk away from an endeavor he put his heart and soul into. It's not fair. What are you doing, God?
3. Due to a dishonest coworker, a second young family member is having work issues. Enough to make him look for work elsewhere when he's built a solid resume where he is. It's frustrating to see the trouble-makers gain traction.
4. My dad continues to decline. He got good reports from his cardiologist and neurologist yesterday, but at 90, he struggles to stay involved. He sleeps a lot. Some of the sparkle in his eyes is diminishing. This makes me
5. I can't keep up with my house. Something is always dirty, dusty, sticky, crummy, smelly, or missing. I want a smaller house with no stairs. However, until the housing market improves, we're going to be here. I have a foreboding feeling of falling down the stairs and breaking a hip.
If that ever happens, you'll read it here first.
6. I've gained weight the past year and cannot get it off. My doctor tells says "well, as we age..."and I just want to scream, because I know it's true. We get fat and mole-y and spotty and achy and dump our complaints on our blogs. We sleep a lot and the sparkle begins to diminish. I just thought I'd have 40 more years before I got there.
7. I think I'm still allergic to mango skin. (If you didn't know this, you can read how I discovered that here: What You Need to Know about Mangoes.) After our daughter and I picked several mangoes from a friend's tree, I got a rash on my thumb that only cortisone could curb. Another skin problem. I want a new epidermis.
8. The daughter of a dear friend is struggling with a relationship she's in. She's conflicted and just wants peace of mind. Why is that so hard for us to attain?
9. I need to buckle down and finish my WIP (work in progress, for non-bloggers), a Christmas project for families.
10. My solution in trying to lay down my worries is to bake. Obviously, this does not help with number 6.
Every pocket of my back pack is full. And I'm not even going back to school next week.
I know there are people with worse burdens, with life-threatening issues, and I'm grateful for many things in my life. I just needed to get these words out of my head. They were clogging up the joint.
Thanks for reading. Sometimes it helps to just be "heard."