I had a birthday over the summer. When I was eight, I thought the age I am now was really decrepit.
I also thought I would know more by this age. Oh, I have more useless knowledge in my head, but I really expected to be wiser by the time I was this decrepit. I'm wiser than eight, but sometimes I still feel only twelve. Do we ever really grow up? Author Leo Buscaglia said we don't - we just get taller.
Oprah writes in her magazine every month "The thing I know for sure...." and then she adds some life lesson she's gained in her 50+ years.
From my now decrepit point of view, here are some things I know for sure....
1. I should have appreciated my slender frame when I was 20, instead of thinking I was fat.
2. It was very beneficial growing up with a handicapped brother. I like to think I'm more compassionate because of it.
3. Never have a squirrel monkey as a pet. They're stinky and mean.
4. When you're feeling insecure for whatever reason, thinking the world is watching you and judging - relax. Nobody cares. People are focused on their own insecurities, thinking the world is watching them and judging. It's really silly.
5. Trouble always starts out fun.
6. Dark chocolate is better than milk chocolate. White chocolate is not really chocolate, and it sucks.
7. When extra money comes your way, almost immediately, a major appliance will die, or the car will need a new transmission.
8. Black cohosh with clover really can minimize hot flashes.
9. As soon as you find a great product you love, the manufacturer will either change it, or stop making it.
10. No one notices the freshly-mopped floor. The sticky, grungy one? Everyone notices.
11. When company is coming for dinner, always make dessert first. If your company cancels, you still have dessert.
12. Coconut oil and vitamin E (squeezed out of its capsule) are the best facial moisturizers.
13. Repairs on anything are always going to cost more than you think.
14. Gardening is harder than it looks. Even if you think it looks hard, it's harder than that.
15. Cholesterol is from the devil.
16. There will come a point in life when your doctor is younger than you. This is very weird.
17. Be nice to cashiers and waiter/waitresses, no matter what. They deal with rude customers more than anyone else on the planet.
18. People do the best they can with what they believe at the time.
19. That size 10 dress you're saving, hoping you'll get back into it some day? Take it to the thrift shop. If you ever reach size 10 again, trust me, you'll buy a new dress.
20. Learn to forgive. Do whatever it takes to get there, because a bitter heart contaminates everyone around you. (It helps to remember you've hurt people too.)
21. Grey's Anatomy is a semi-trashy, medical dramedy (drama/comedy) that I wish I didn't enjoy, but, for some reason, I'm hooked.
22. Krispy Kreme makes the best doughnuts on the planet.
23. Thinking ahead is the number one skill we should learn in high school.
24. For the most part, you can't tell your mom what to do. Well, you can, but she won't listen.
25. No matter what you're looking for in your purse, it's always at the bottom.
I wonder if Oprah knows all this cool stuff.