I've been sitting here for a while thinking how to start. It's just so awful. Again.
This time, it was a movie theater in Aurora, Colorado.
Yesterday, I watched the Colorado governor speak from the podium twice, and he stumbled for words both times. I welled up watching him, because I was right with him. Speechless and rambley at the same time.
After two days of news from Aurora, our TV is now tuned to some pre-Olympics stuff. Not because we don't care anymore, but because the heart is raw. And, although it seems somehow disrespectful, life does go on.
For the coming months, the questions will be pressing: who is James Holmes? Why did he want to kill innocent people? Is he insane? What are his parents like? What kind of upbringing did he have? Why did he want to kill innocent people? Did he really think he was the Joker? Who are his friends? Did anyone see this coming? Why did he want to kill innocent people? Was he on drugs? Could this have been prevented? Why did he want to kill innocent people?
Like after Columbine and other public square shootings, we're left with nothing but heartache and questions. We've witnessed the worst of mankind, and we must understand it. We must place these events in an explainable, categorized box, so we can regain some sense of control. If we can just understand the why behind these tragedies, surely we can prevent them.
So, we start again. Witnesses from the theater, injured and uninjured, will share their experiences. The medical teams will retrieve evidence from torn flesh. Law enforcement officials will interrogate. Therapists and analysts will probe and document. The Holmes family will be scrutinized.
In the end, we will gain more facts and knowledge, but not necessarily more understanding. No matter the factors (and there might be many) that led James Holmes to kill, we will not accept them as valid. In a civilized society, no level of hatred or disorder will validate gunning down unsuspecting families in a movie theater. On the day an action such as this becomes understandable, we will, as a nation, have lost our soul.
So, even without complete answers, we will do what Americans do best. We will pray for and support the Aurora community. We will share in mourning the loss of the twelve. We will send cards and money to the victims and their families. We will root for the injured when they begin their physical therapy. We will follow their stories and read the books some will write about their horrific ordeal.
We will follow the trial of James Holmes and pray that justice will be served.
We will try to forgive. Because, the root intention of a human heart is transparent only to God.
We will move forward. Because, life does go on.