Showing posts with label caretaking. Show all posts
Showing posts with label caretaking. Show all posts

11.03.2015

Life at Both Ends 2

Isn't it surprising what can happen in one week? When I last wrote, I was on the sofa with an ice pack on my knee. I had tripped down the stairs, and my knee was the size of a softball.

Today, the knee is back to normal, but for a couple red spots where I had skin contusions. As I was getting better, Mom was getting sick. She developed bronchitis, and we made a visit to the doc so he could listen to her goopy, wheezy, crackly lungs. We started levaquin that night, and she's now hacking a bit less. However...

Two days later, she developed a patterned rash on her back that was creeping around to her side, and the ALF nurse was pretty sure Mom had shingles. We headed back to the doc, and yep, shingles. My mom is 95 and a half and the size of a twig. Yet, she weathers illness and injury like a soldier. I was off my knee for two days when I tripped down two stairs; Mom, with bronchitis and shingles, keeps tooling around in her wheel chair, straightening her room and sifting through paperwork. I get tired just watching her.

On the Dad front, he's still in rehab after a fall four weeks ago, and then a small stroke Oct. 7. They're having trouble stabilizing his involuntary movements, which make PT difficult. He's really tired of the whole thing, and he alters between wishing God would take him and telling his therapists his goal is to walk again, unaided (which he has not done in over a year.) I try to console him; yes, it's hard to be disabled. God loves us anyway, even if we don't feel "useful."

I don't know what else to say because I don't get it either. Both of my parents have been worker bees all their lives. They have served and shared and contributed so much to their world. Now they are in wheel chairs, watching the world pass them by, and they are still with it enough to fully understand what all they've lost. Only by the grace of God does our family keep plugging along. It doesn't make sense to the mind or the heart why they are still here, but we are not the authors of life and death, so we just keep going as long as God allows. I trust someday I will understand. I pray I will look back on these years and say, I get it now.

Dad moves to a new rehab facility today, where he will have another thirty days to recover. We don't yet know what "recovery" will look like. There are some new deficits that might be permanent, but we won't know that until he is unable to overcome them. I pray he can return to his ALF with Mom, but we just don't know yet. So, we wait and watch and take him strawberry milkshakes on bad days. 

On the sweet, glorious front, our daughter-in-law came down for a visit this past weekend and spent some loving time with Dad. She brought him a book he's been wanting and some chocolate and put lotion on his arms and chatted with him like he was her best friend. She's wonderful that way.

She's also carrying our first grandchild, James, who's the size of a large mango. Here's a picture of the three generations, although James is not yet visible. He's warm and snugly under his mama's blue dress. Dr. Ben Carson made it into the picture as well.


I love pictures like this because they hold the full spectrum of life. A new budding babe sharing a seat on the bed with his great grandpa, (who's middle name is James) who has lived a full, adventurous life and is longing for peace of mind and an end to all struggles. Both of these lives are fragile, yet full of expectation. I pray in February, I can get a picture of Dad holding baby James.

So, in spite of the challenges of aging, I am blessed by the thought of holding fresh life in about four months. I'm excited for our son and his sweet wife. I'm grateful my knee is 90% back, and I'm glad all the Halloween candy is finally out of the house. I ate entirely too many Milky Ways.

The adventures continue here in the Ballpark...


4.27.2015

W is for Wills

My husband and I updated our wills recently.  I get why people put off doing this stuff.  I was in tears in our attorney's office.


Most of the process is boring and time-consuming.  Then you get to the part where you have to create a terrible scenario - you're dying, and do you want your loved ones to feed you, or not?  Do you want to keep living if you are in a coma?  If you don't want to live in that state, who has to decide to pull the plug?

I might have been more detached through this process if I was not a caretaker for my parents, who are almost 92 and 95.  The fact is that my heart is presented with these kinds of scenarios daily.  My folks are relatively fine at the moment, but their physical deaths are likely to be sooner than I'm ready for.  Most of my time is occupied with aging/declining/dementia issues, and I have more sad moments than I care to admit.

As I was debating these painful issues for myself, my parents and my love for them was right at the surface.  Our attorney is very kind and offered me some chocolate when I began to tear up.  He has a little plate of miniature candy bars right next to the coffee and tea assortments. 

I admonish all of you to get these documents in place.  They're not really for you, but for those you love who will be left behind when you are going, or gone.  Think about them and how hard these decisions will be if you do not give them some written, legal guidance. 

And make sure your attorney has some chocolate.



1.27.2015

Two Things I Need to Remember (constantly)

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4.14.2014

Lessons Learned (8 things I've learned from caretaking)

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