The Back Pack is Full Again

I searched for one of my older posts this morning, because I needed to refresh my memory about life's burdens and why it's important to give God our worries.  You can read that post here, if you'd like:  Dropping the Back Pack

My head is so full this week with things to pray about.  I'm not complaining; I turn to God easily when I need Him.  But, honestly...it's the waiting that wears me down.  Waiting to see how He's going to resolve things.  Waiting for things to change, something to change.   I know He is sovereign; I know He's in control, and my worry/anxiety doesn't change a thing.  I know this.  But (the big but), because I am a short-sighted, restless human, I want myself and everyone I love to be happy and peace-filled right away.  Women are like that.

I'm going to attempt to lay my back pack of concerns at the Master's throne through this post.  Getting things out of my head is always therapeutic for me.  You, kind readers, are the beneficiaries of this brain dump.

1.  I'm having skin issues.  Moles that are "suspect" and spots called granuloma annulare that are benign, but ugly.  I've had two biopsies in the past month.

My skin is broken and sore around one of my wounds because it's suddenly reacting to Band-aid adhesive.  I want to stay home and wear nothing until everything heals.  Not gonna happen.

2.  Due to one unreliable co-worker, a young family member is having serious work issues.  Enough to make him walk away from an endeavor he put his heart and soul into.  It's not fair.  What are you doing, God?

3.  Due to a dishonest coworker, a second young family member is having work issues.  Enough to make him look for work elsewhere when he's built a solid resume where he is.  It's frustrating to see the trouble-makers gain traction.

4.  My dad continues to decline.  He got good reports from his cardiologist and neurologist yesterday, but at 90, he struggles to stay involved.  He sleeps a lot.  Some of the sparkle in his eyes is diminishing.  This makes me sad sadder.  

5.  I can't keep up with my house.  Something is always dirty, dusty, sticky, crummy, smelly, or missing.  I want a smaller house with no stairs.  However, until the housing market improves, we're going to be here.  I have a foreboding feeling of falling down the stairs and breaking a hip.

If that ever happens, you'll read it here first.

6.  I've gained weight the past year and cannot get it off.  My doctor tells says "well, as we age..."and I just want to scream, because I know it's true.  We get fat and mole-y and spotty and achy and dump our complaints on our blogs.  We sleep a lot and the sparkle begins to diminish.  I just thought I'd have 40 more years before I got there.   

7.  I think I'm still allergic to mango skin.  (If you didn't know this, you can read how I discovered that here: What You Need to Know about Mangoes.)  After our daughter and I picked several mangoes from a friend's tree, I got a rash on my thumb that only cortisone could curb.  Another skin problem.  I want  a new epidermis. 

8.  The daughter of a dear friend is struggling with a relationship she's in.  She's conflicted and just wants peace of mind.   Why is that so hard for us to attain?

9.  I need to buckle down and finish my WIP (work in progress, for non-bloggers), a Christmas project for families.

 My days are so interrupted, I hate to even open the file and start.  So I don't do anything.  I know this is a lousy, non-productive approach.  I know the book will never get finished if I don't finish it.  I'm just venting my frustration with myself.

10.  My solution in trying to lay down my worries is to bake.  Obviously, this does not help with number 6.

Every pocket of my back pack is full.  And I'm not even going back to school next week.  

I know there are people with worse burdens, with life-threatening issues, and I'm grateful for many things in my life.  I just needed to get these words out of my head.  They were clogging up the joint.

Thanks for reading.  Sometimes it helps to just be "heard."


Pam Williams said...

Oh, Mare! I had to read this outloud to my husband. We both chuckled--why?--because so many of your concerns are the same as ours. It was like looking in a mirror! And it was good to be able to laugh in spite of it all. Thanks for an uplifting post. Praying your backpack lightens soon.

Juli said...

Okay... far be it for me to have a say here, as I am the queen of mind dumping, and not hugely religious, BUT...

1. Thanks God you got them taken care of.

2 & 3. As hard as it may be, thank God at least they are still employed in this economy.

4.He's had 90 years of stories to tell, 90 years of wisdom Thank God you can still get that from him as he is still here with you.

5. Thank God you have sound home. I would love a bigger house, and if you are that nervous, don't go upstairs. :)

6. Our bodies are a testament to how healthy we are. Just think of it as extra padding God's giving you to use up before your time ends. The more "stuff" you got the more time you have.

7. Thank God you're not allergic to chocolate. :)

8. That is her cross to bear, God gave it to her.

9. Thank God you have these creative skills. I thank him everyday for my talents.

10. Baking invites good company, family, and loving friends. Thank God for them.

See, as someone once said... "He always answers your prayers, just not always the way you expect."

Deb said...

I totally relate to this post and am going through some of the same "waiting on God" stuff that you describe. It was good to read that others go through the same sort of thing. Hang in there - we all have too - and look for even the smallest little "tender mercy" blessings from God every day, because they are there when we look. Relax and have a good weekend! I am going to try to do the same!

I'm mostly known as 'MA' said...

I think you are doing the best thing you can do and turn those burdens in your pack over to the One that can handle things so much better than we can. I'm very good at doing that. One day at a time is the only way I live. If the day isn't going well, I start counting my blessings and pretty soon things look a whole lot brighter. That say that when we share a sorrow it becomes half a sorrow and I think it is good to share.

Brenda said...

Wow, I can definitely relate. You're not alone, of course because you have the Lord to cast your burdens on, but also because we're out there going through some of the same things.
Thank God for God, because he truly does carry us through these trying times.
Funny, I was just getting on here to look up remedies for us 'older' women experiencing weight gain (for me it's menopausal--that darn M word anyway)and decided to stop by some blogs first.
We're listening! God bless.

Rita said...

I hear you. *love and hugs*

Marianne (Mare) Baker Ball said...

Thanks, girls, for the encouragement. That's why I write. There are usually people who are in the same ship. That's why they call it "fellowship." Or "sistership." YA-YA!

Dana Martin said...

Man it's good to be back to reading your blog again, though I must admit it was because I was forcing myself to eat a bowl of cereal at 12:20 in the afternoon when even eating has become an unwanted source of responsibility in my day. As I sit here slurping the end of the almond milk (who BOUGHT this??), I am smiling at your blog. Why? Certainly my empathy meter isn't broken, no. But because we are all the same, aren't we? Women, writers, wives, bloggers... and believers. Your writing today was just what I needed to snap out of my own funk. With so much on my plate, I often don't know where to begin because of the inevitable interruption of yet another responsibility appearing on my plate vying for importance over what I'm currently doing. I love the backpack analogy. Yes, indeed... let's give it to the King. He will take it from here.

LOVE your writing. ~d.

Marie said...

I can completely relate! I hope the mole is nothing. I had three taken off my stomach and I'm due back to the dermo this month. I'm suppose to see them every three months.
Hope your backpack lightens up!