2.29.2012

Wrapping it Up


Here I am at the end of my "29 Valentines" list.   If you're still reading, thanks for joining me on this little journey.

The 28th valentine in my life is this fabulous plastic wrap.


Apparently, it's been around awhile, but, as usual, I'm behind the 8-ball on all the cool stuff in town.

This wrap is wonderful.  It's stronger and easier to manage than any other plastic wrap I've ever had to fight with.  It comes in a box with a slit in the lid that keeps the wrap from drawing back onto itself.   The box is part of what I love about it.

Some cling wraps don't cling worth a hoo-ha; others stick to the point where you can't unwrap the cookie; still others won't come out of the box without electricity pulling them back to the roll.  In general, I think plastic wrap is a pain in the patootie. 

Stretch-tite is different.  It clings to itself when you want it to and lifts away when you want it to.  It does what plastic wrap is supposed to do: behave.   I very much appreciate this.


And lastly - but really firstly and primarily - my Number 29 Valentine makes the previous 28 possible.  For, every good thing comes from above.

My Number 29 is Christ.  The Heart of all hearts. 

Because of Him, I know what true love is.

I know what mercy is.

I know what healing is.

I know what peace is.

I know what freedom is.

He is the greatest Valentine of all. 


2.28.2012

Heart of Gold


Outside of family members, the person I see most often is my parents' primary care doctor.

Mom and Dad both have quarterly check-ups with him.  In addition, within those quarters, there is usually a fall, a medication change, a bug, or a rash that warrants an extra visit or two.  If either parent is hospitalized, I see this doctor almost daily.

I feel like he's part of the family.

If anybody is gift to my heart, it's this physician. 


He monitors Dad's heart.  He monitors Mom's heart.  He reassures my heart.

When we leave a message with his answering service, he returns the call within ten minutes.  Regarding the folks, he's talked me through insurance worries, moving worries, and surgery worries. Often, on a weekend.  He taught me how to listen to lungs with the stethoscope, so I can check the folks for "crackles" and pneumonia.  He answers everything I ask him.  

His heart is calm and gentle and humble.  He has a wife and two young daughters who don't see him enough because he is such a dedicated physician.  He told me once that when he is home, "it's all about the girls."  You don't see that much anymore.

I made apple dumplings for him and his staff after mom's shoulder surgery.  On our next office visit, he apologized for not getting a thank-you note written.  I told him a thank-you for a thank-you is not necessary.  He still looked a little sheepish.  You don't see that anymore either.

The wonderful Dr. R. has been a valentine to our entire family for three years.  Mom and Dad trust him with their very lives.  If Dr. R. says it, it's the gospel truth.  I expect him to be in our lives until Mom and Dad are gone.  

And then...we'll miss him, too.



2.26.2012

Hanging Out

I'm in the final lap of celebrating the extra valentines in my life - things big and small that make life simpler, or more pleasurable.  Lovely things like fragrant soaps, heart-stirring movies, good cleaning products, great books, and favorite foods. 

My Number 26 blessing is a bit more mundane.  It's something everybody has to do, and it's usually on the "drudgery" list: laundry.

Even the word is unattractive.  It has too many vowels.

But, I enjoy it.  I like taking messy mounds of soiled items and facilitating their transition into clean, nicely-stacked piles.  I have a special partner in this endeavor: Mr. Sunshine.

Because we live in Florida, we have mostly sunny days all year round.   Several years ago, for my birthday, I requested a clothesline.  Some people thought I was nutty.  Why would I want to return to Little House on the Prairie days when we had a perfectly fine dryer in the garage?

1.  It seemed wasteful to have this top-of-the-line dryer in the sky, ready and waiting to dry things...and we weren't using it.

2.  When I was a kid, my mom used to hang clothes on the line, and I remember that with fond nostalgia.

3.  Things dried on the line smell good.

4.  I knew it would save energy and money (we've gained twenty bucks a month.)     

My husband installed my birthday clothesline in the backyard, and I've used the dryer very little since then.  Of course, there are "dryer days," when it rains for 72 hours straight, but that's infrequent.  Most of the time, our clothes flap in the breeze.


This was a particularly flappy day.

The breeze is my other partner in doing the laundry.  We are just a few miles from the beach, so we always have a bit of wind blowing through the trees.   I love it.



















The wind gives the clothes personality.  


The sun makes the whites whiter.



For me, it's earth-friendly and a bit spiritual to hang the laundry on the line.  I appreciate nature's free gifts of wind and light to help us maintain our household.  I love standing in the breeze, snapping out wrinkles and pinning socks next to their mates, so I can easily pair them later. 

I love breathing in the fresh air and catching a few rays.  I think about Tom Cruise hanging his own laundry in his hovel of a room in an American brothel in Far and Away.  If it's good enough for him, it's good enough for me.

Hanging clothes in the fresh air feeds my homemaker soul. 

In memory of Laura Ingalls,

2.24.2012

Happy Endings

I stated in my last post that I'm a movie buff.   Then, I wrote about three dramas full of sorrow and grief.   It was a dark and stormy post. 

To counter the heartache and weeping, here are my three favorite "best ending" movies.  The story lines still contain disappointments and struggle, but the endings - all surprises to me on my first viewing - are so rewarding.  They could not end any better.


1.  Streep, again.  She's simply the best.  She can play pathos, and she can play pure sacrifice and love.  In Kramer vs. Kramer, she's a confused, depressed, struggling mom who abandons her son.   Chaos and legal battles ensue.  Dustin Hoffman is so entertaining as the then confused, depressed, struggling father.   His fight with his son over the ice cream is a classic tangle to which every parent can relate.  The beautiful resolution does not come until the very last minute.



2.  For the ultimate tale of woe, nothing beats Les Miserables (the miserable, or the wretched.)  The musical stage production is incomparable, but the non-musical film version is very good.  Liam Neeson and Geoffrey Rush are wonderful.  As Fantine, Uma Thurman is trembling and fragile and dismally beautiful.  This is the classic tale of good vs. evil and judgement vs. forgiveness.  Good wins in a surprising way.



3.  I'm not a Jane Austin fan, but I love this film.  Emma Thompson was the screenwriter, which is probably the appealing difference.  She brought her own ambiance to the story, as well as Hugh Grant.  Nobody can play befuddled like he can.  The pre-Titanic Kate Winslet is fresh-faced and adorable.

I have never been so shocked (and delightfully so) by an ending.  When my sister viewed it for the first time, she sat up in her chair and, crying happy tears, declared, "We have to watch it again."  And we did.  Right then.   Sense and Sensibility might be my favorite movie of all time.

These movies are true valentines to my heart.  When I want to see love and truth prevail, these stories take me there.   

I hope they do the same for you.


2.23.2012

Achy-Breaky Heart

I'm a movie buff.  I'd rather see the movie than read the book.

It's a time thing.  A movie is over in two hours.  A book takes a week, or six months.   I'm still only halfway through a John Grisham book I started in October.  And it's a good book.  What I can remember.

My days have many interruptions, so I'm better off viewing a story from start to finish in one chunk.  I can get emotionally invested, and the story stays with me.  I like that.

What is puzzling to me is that I have a fondness for heart-wrenching movies.  Not that I don't enjoy positive, feel-good movies.  I like those too.  But, the movies I don't mind seeing repeatedly are films with tragic story lines/endings.

They make my heart ache and my eyes weep.  I like that.  It's weird, and I don't get it, but there you have it.

These are my three favorite heart-wrenchers.


1.  Sophie's Choice

This is the most tragic of the three, because the choice Sophie is forced to make is so unfathomable.  But, Meryl Streep is so brilliant as a concentration camp survivor, you can't look away.  She is breath-taking, and your heart bleeds for her.  Kevin Kline is equally good as a disturbed, but charming schizophrenic.  This movie will stay with you forever. 



2.  Legends of the Fall
  
This is a sweeping, beautifully scenic film about three grown brothers and their love for the same woman. Julia Ormond is never more exquisite.  Anthony Hopkins is, as always, commanding.  As Tristan, Brad Pitt gives his best performance ever.  And this is where I discovered, and fell in love with, Aidan Quinn.



3.  Phantom of the Opera

Nothing is as powerful as the stage production, but the movie comes close.  Because Andrew Lloyd Webber produced the film, the intrigue and the enchantment transfer well.  Emmy Rossum as Christine is lovely, her voice perfect.   Gerard Butler is a grittier Phantom than Michael Crawford, but stirs in me the same sympathy and terror.

My heart grieves for the Phantom.  He has been so abused, and, in turn, has learned only to hate, except for Christine.  Whom he will never have.

I can't stand it.

When watching these films, there is a silly part of me that thinks, maybe this time, it will end differently.  What would it look like if it ended differently?   

I'll never know because the outcomes are in the can; the characters are doomed to make the same choices.   I know the heartache is coming.

I watch anyway, because I love the characters.  I want them to know they are not alone in their suffering. 

I'm right there, sniffling, on the other side of the screen.  


2.22.2012

Cows and Pizza (18 &19)

I like cows.

They move kind of slow and lumbery, and I can relate to that. They always seem to be munching and are very generous with their dairy products. They're kind of stinky, but they often live with pigs, so it's not entirely their fault.

I saw a cow in December that I fell in love with.


Who wouldn't love this face?

Ms. Bossy is a salt shaker that was a memento from our niece's wedding.  Ms. Bossy brought her own bottle to the event.


It dispenses pepper.

At the reception, they were a very popular couple.


Other people wanted to take them home, but Ms. Bossy and her sidekick wanted to move to Florida, so I won.  I love them because they are adorable and not stinky.   They remind me of my niece and her new groom. 

Not literally.

Ms. Bossy is always smiling.   Although, she did think she looked too heavy in this picture and asked me to take a side shot.  Like any female, she wants to look as slim as possible.


 Oh yes, much better. 

Ms. Bossy and her sidekick are charming, miniature valentines that grace our dining room table. (Ms. Bossy's hometown is Pier 1 Imports, if you'd like to look up some of her relatives and invite them to live on your dining room table.)  They look very small in comparison to the massive valentine pizza that I've been eating a lot of here in the Ballpark.    




This has become my favorite pizza.  It originates from Rachel Ray, but we altered it a bit.   Our daughter made it the first time, and I've coerced her to make it just about weekly since.

We make our own crust (easy), then top it with roasted butternut squash, radicchio, purple onion and cheese.  I can't get enough of it.    

If you have to have red sauce, or meat, you won't like it.  You can order from Pizza Hut.  

If you'd like to try it, here's the link to the recipe with more mouth-watering pictures: SQUASH PIZZA  

It's different and savory and delicious.  

Ms. Bossy loves this pizza as much as I do.  Not because she's ever eaten it, but because this pizza makes her butt looks small. 


2.21.2012

Expressions from the Heart

I love great photographs.   

I have boxes of minimally organized pictures in our TV cabinet, and when I sit down to look for something, hours can go by, because I get caught up in remembering.  We don't have much real art on the walls of our home; we have family pictures.

So many of our pictures capture my heart and transport me back to the moment.  Two of my favorites involve weddings.  These pictures could be Valentine's day cards. 

The first one is of our youngest son and his bride - I call it Overboard. 


Not your traditional wedding picture.

She is genuinely terrified she's going over the rail.  He is genuinely calm and mischievous and OK with her thinking she's going over the rail.

It's funny and beautiful and very much who these two are.   She is enthusiastic and refreshingly transparent.  He's background support, and plots quietly.

I love this picture because it's spontaneous and true to character.  She's holding on for dear life, and, in spite of appearances, he's saying, don't worry.  I gotcha.  

Today is their third anniversary. 

My other favorite picture was taken on our wedding day.  I call it Are We Done Yet?  This was a posed picture, but turned out to be spontaneous. 


Don't they look happy?   So pleased to be dressed up and repeatedly asked to stand still for pictures.

The four-year old boy is a child I was babysitting at the time.  The three-year old girl is our niece. They performed very well that day.  Carried the ring and the flowers and were cute all day, even here.   This picture was taken at day's end.  He's ready to get out of that tux, and she's sending a clear signal that she's done posing. 

He's now a married psychologist with three children; she's a married cancer survivor with two boys.  I will always appreciate their contribution to our wedding and this priceless picture taken 37 years ago.

Some of the best Valentines are photographs, because you can relive them any day of the year.   

2.20.2012

Heart-smart Valentines

OK, it's time to write about food again.  I haven't written about food since Number 3 on my "29 days of Valentines" list.

I'm getting a little hungry, so Number 14 is my favorite vegetable.  Number 15 is my favorite breakfast.  Sadly, there is no bacon involved.

I've written about roasted veggies before, so it's not news that I love them.  Broccoli and carrots, in particular.   Between these two, I go back and forth on what is my absolute favorite - the veggie that, if I was going to be hanged the next day, would be part of my last meal.

Carrots eke ahead of broccoli by just a peel.  They take more work than broccoli, but not much.  They are worth it.

My Trinity-sprinkle roasted carrots are simply peeled, sliced, tossed in herbs/olive oil and roasted an 400 degrees until tender.  Pick any herbs you like, but my choice is parsley, basil and SeasonAll.  I've never had them prepared in a better way.   Particularly in restaurants, where they typically serve baby carrots, which are not sweet.  They have not developed any real flavor.  They're too young.  Buy adult carrots.

These are just the best.  End of story.


My favorite breakfast is steel-cut oatmeal with nuts and berries. 

I've eaten oatmeal off and on over my adult life, mainly for health reasons.  It's not the most interesting cereal, it's certainly not in the Lucky Charms category, but part of being 50-something is leaving behind sugary fun and incorporating foods that are organ friendly.   This is not something you think about as a child.   But, once you reach the top of the proverbial hill, your heart and your colon start to dictate what's going to be coming down the hatch. 

Dr. Oz is always raving about steel-cut oats.  Because I'm always battling my cholesterol, I bought some. They're very interesting little grains...


What I've learned is that steel-cut oats are whole grain groats (the inner portion of the kernel) that are cut, not crushed or mashed (crushing the oats makes rolled oats.)  Because the grains are less processed, they are nutritionally superior to rolled oats.  And, when cooked, less like wallpaper paste.

Steel-cut oats take longer to cook, but I make extra and reheat servings in the microwave on other days.  They are nuttier and chewier than rolled oats, and I really like them.  They are hearty and filling and inexpensive. 

I dress them up with a teaspoon of brown sugar (or honey) and fruit (blueberries are my favorite.)  I toss in some SQUIRREL MIX and enough soy milk to create the texture I want.  Viola!  A really yummy bowl of goodness.



















Of course, you can add anything you want.  They might be very tasty with crumbled bacon.

I'm very grateful for roasted carrots and steel-cut oats.  They are valentines I give my heart and colon on a regular basis.

My eyeballs would rather have brownies, but they're not the boss of me.  


2.19.2012

Squeaky Clean

Long, long ago, someone declared that cleanliness is next to Godliness.  They probably had access to a soft, fragrant soap, a great exfoliant, and good toilet paper.

I know these things make me feel less buried in the germs of life.    

When it comes to clean, smooth, and smelly-good, here are three products I really love.

1.  Foaming hand soaps 
Foaming soaps are the best.  Much better than the slimy, gels that preceded them.  Although, if I have nothing else, slimy gel is OK.  Add a delicious fragrance to the foam, and I linger a little longer washing my hands.

This past Christmas, I ran across some wonderful smells at Bath and Body Works.  I sniffed my way through the store and decided this was my favorite. 

Iced Gingerbread

This foam smells so delicious and authentic, it's only because I know, I know, I know it's soap that I haven't tasted it. 

During non-holiday season, this is my other favorite fragrance. 

White Citrus

It's orangy and lemony and grapefruity and soft and subtle.  Perfect all year round.  That's why I bought the White Citrus body spray as well. 

2.  Monkey face scrub
I love natural beauty products.  Homemade ones are even better.  I feel powerful and smart knowing what's going on my face.  This is an easy-peasy two-part mixture: 1/2 cup white sugar and 4 teaspoons coconut oil.

Coconut oil looks like this...



It's similar to Crisco, but not whipped.  Surprisingly, it has no odor.  This jar was about $10.  At only 4 teaspoons a batch, this jar will last a long time.  It can be stored on the shelf with other oils and vinegars. 

Two-step directions:  in a microwave-proof bowl, slowly melt the oil in the microwave.  It takes 20 seconds.  Watch it, and remove the bowl the second the oil is liquid.  Stir in the sugar until the mixture looks like powdery snow.


Store in an airtight container on your shower shelf (mine is in a small Tupperware bowl.)  Use as often as you like.  It's a clean, no-pets-were-tested scrub that leaves your skin soft and smooth. It will not make you look like a monkey.   

3.  Cottonelle toilet paper
We've all been to restaurants, hotels, airports, and hospitals that have toilet paper as thin as tissue paper, or as stiff as cardboard.  It's not pleasant.

Cottonelle is thicker, but pliable.  Close-up, it looks like carpet.


It has little rows of tiny, puffy air pockets.  Who knew.  This creates softness and better absorbency. 

I have just a few products I don't veer from.  Cottonelle is one of them.  Even if I have a coupon for another brand, I don't buy any other toilet paper.  I think this makes me a toilet paper snob.

And I'm OK with that.


2.16.2012

Garage Buddies

This Valentine-y month, I'm writing about 29 things I love (and I'm so behind.)   Some common things, some oddball things, some handy items that simply make life easier.  

Number 9 and 10 are things that go together because they both live in the garage.  Which is kind of a dusty, cluttered place.  Along with hosting cabinets of tools, the lawn mower, a generator, a Rubbermaid lawn can full of scrap wood, buckets of rags, a bicycle, an inversion table, and about ten plastic bins full of my parents' possessions, the garage is where the dirty laundry and the plastic bags pile up.

I'll get to laundry in a moment.

Do you know anyone who doesn't have superfluous bags stuffed around the house?  We use green, cloth grocery bags, and we still have too many plastic bags.  It seems like where two or more are gathered, they reproduce.

I used to store smaller bags in a bigger bag from Sears or Kohl's.  Eventually it would rip and the inside bags would float to the floor and drift around.   They were a nuisance. 

Then, I got one of these...


It's a bag holder from Ikea.  I saw one at a friend's house and tracked down an Ikea shortly thereafter.   It's basically a hard plastic tube with holes that screws into the wall.  Bags get stuffed into it, but they can't just fall out.  It streamlines the puffy, haywire mess that copious, plastic bags create.

Bag storage becomes manageable, because this holey tube sets a boundary.  Without boundaries, plastic bags can become codependent and clingy, and then you have a whole other problem.

When the tube gets full, I take a wad of sacks to the grocery store recycling bin.  Which is usually stuffed as well.  Plastic factories don't need to manufacture any more plastic bags.  There are enough on the planet to simply recycle and redistribute.  Just pass them around, and don't make anymore.  Like fruitcake.   

I'm told this bag tube isn't a new item.  I'm just late in discovering it, I guess.  It's one of my best buds.  

I met my other garage buddy years ago when my youngin's were in elementary school.  This sticky product was the only thing that would remove ballpoint pen ink from school clothes. 


It used to be called Spray and Wash and came in a thick cylinder, like a big glue stick.  Now it's called Resolve and looks like deodorant.   I love that you can smear it on a stain, then toss the item of clothing into the basket and wash it up to a week later.  I don't know how it works, but it does.

I've never met a (new) stain Resolve did not remove.  I've been using it for twenty years.   And I resolve to use it the rest of my life.   If they ever quit making it, I'll be up a creek without a paddle.

In stained clothes.

But my plastic bags will be contained.


2.09.2012

A Valentine for the Human Heart

Dad is home from rehab!

We wheeled him into Southland about noon today.  He starts in-house therapy tomorrow.  He didn't need any medication changes and is considered "independent" in his wheelchair.  He will work back up to a walker over the next few weeks.

Mom cleaned out some drawers while Dad was away and had my sister dust before he arrived.   Their little nest will be crowded again with two walkers and two wheelchairs, but they have their possessions/drugs pretty well cordoned off and manage to bump into each other only once in a while.

Which brings me to my fourth favorite thing of the month: Boundaries by Dr. Henry Cloud and Dr. John Townsend.


I've talked about this book to most people I know and given a copy or two to friends over the years, so if this is a rerun topic for you, feel free to go have a cookie.

This book changed they way I enter into, manage, enjoy and ease out of relationships.  Which is another way of saying it changed my life.

Boundaries was published in 1992, and I remember the buzz it made upon its release.  Everybody around me was talking about it, but I wasn't interested.  Didn't really get the title, didn't have time, blah, blah, blah.   I finally read it ten years ago.  As I was reading, I kept thinking, I wish I'd read this earlier.

I did that with The Road Less Traveled too.  Everybody kept raving about that one, but I didn't pick it up until it had been on the market for twenty years.   I'm a slow follower.

Here are some snippets from Boundaries:

1.   Boundaries are a way to describe our spheres of responsibility - what we are and are not responsible for.

2.  Behind the failure to set boundaries in a relationship is the fear of loss.

3.  In the work of setting healthy boundaries, there will be skirmishes, disputes, and losses.

4.  We always need to forgive; but we don't always achieve reconciliation.

5.  Blamers have a character problem.

6.  Those who spend their lives trying to avoid failure are also eluding maturity.

7.  Words do not come from somewhere outside of us.  They are products of our hearts.

8.   Mental health comes from owning unmet childhood needs and working them out.

9.  If our giving to another helps him/her to become better, that's a valid sacrifice.  If our giving helps the other to become worse, that's enabling.

10.  To rescue people from the natural consequences of their behavior is to render them powerless. 

11.  Years of constant boundary violations generate great anger.

12.   Feelings should never be ignored, nor placed in charge;  we are in control of our choices, no matter how we feel.

13.  Trying, failing, and trying again is called learning. 

14.  Say 'no' to the unimportant, and 'no' to the inclination to do less than your best.

Thought-provoking, challenging, smart, healing premises.   I marked up this book like nobody's business.


Dr. Cloud writes that every relationship problem, from neighbors to coworkers to family, is a boundary problem.   I have found this to be true in my life.  So, unless you've already figured this out, or you are a hermit who relates only to plants and the occasional lizard, you might find this book very enlightening.

This is a great valentine to buy for yourself.


2.03.2012

Valentine Number 3 (Squirrel Nut Mix)

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2.02.2012

29 for 29

February is the month of love.

Hallmark promotes only romantic love, which is sweet and dandy, but the heart is stirred by affection for other things as well. 

Like chocolate.  And KitchenAid mixers.  And TV shows about mysterious islands.  And good toilet paper.

I have a list of things I really love and am grateful for.   My hubby and kids, of course.  That's a given.  But, then other things and other people who are just bonuses in my life.

For the month of February, I'm going to write about the other, non-romantic things I love.   Some I've loved for years; others I've just discovered recently.    29 things, for the 29 days of February.

1.  Yesterday, I posted a limerick for my brother because it was his birthday.   He's in this "other things" category.

I grew up with two brothers, and both were fairly annoying when we were all kids.   Angel Greg died when he was 23.  I was 19.  I'll never know what kind of relationship we might have had as adults.

The ex-clown turned out beautifully.   Partly because, when he was a young man and came to a revelation of following Christ, he called me to apologize for all the former teasing and big-brother-pain-in-the-butt stuff.   To this day, it makes me tear up to think about it.  That kind of humility and accountability is what makes him a gem of a man/husband/father/brother/friend/engineer/ex-clown today.  

We get along much better these days.


2.  My sister is another gem in my life.  I'm five years younger, and I was nothing but a nuisance to her when I was a kid.  However, once we both had kids of our own, we found common ground.   She's a worker bee and a great encourager.  She works with special needs kids and loves it.  She is a new grandma and loves that too.  We can talk for days and laugh over nothing.  And I mean nothing.  She's probably laughing as she reads this.

I think she likes me now.

Here she is hugging her son at his October wedding.   She generously bestows hugs on everyone.  It's one thing that makes her so loveable.  
 

My siblings are like two extra Valentines in my life.