BEHIND DOOR #3

Hurricane Irene is whipping up the Florida coast as I write.   Looks like she's going to just tease Florida and then whollop North Carolina, Virginia, and New York.

Right after they've had an earthquake.

It's just not their week.

Nor my brother's, the ex-clown.  He's in Florida for the week working at the Cape, and he's had some surprises: 

1.  He was expecting me to treat him to a mahi-mahi sandwich at our favorite fish joint as soon as he arrived.  This was his second "prize" for winning my "Fancy-pants" giveaway.  (He wasn't that excited about Coldwater Creek coupons, which were first prize.)

When we arrived at the restaurant, we discovered it was closed.  Not just closed, as in "after hours", but closed as in this...

NOOOOOOO......

We didn't believe it.  We kept peering in the windows and yanking on the door, thinking maybe people were just in the back.  With the lights off.   

We were beyond disappointed. 

I offered to take him someplace else for dinner.  But equivalent to Hurricane Grill.  He suggested a higher-end grill, then offered to treat me because my birthday is coming up. 

I relented.  If he wanted to buy his own prize, who was I to stop him? 

Here he is after we stuffed ourselves silly.

These are pre-Irene waves. 

2.  He's been working 16 hours days.  Good grief. 

3.  He's due to fly home to Maryland on Saturday morning.  Exactly when Irene is predicted to blow in.  He might not get out of here.  He was stuck in Florida last winter due to snow, and he's not looking forward to that experience again. 

So, because he's my favorite ex-clown, and he's had an exhausting week, and I owe him something, I'm going to bake him a cherry pie.

Not the same as Coldwater Creek money, or the best fish sandwich in Florida, but a fair attempt to reward the winner of my first contest.  (Pioneer Woman never has this problem.)

The ex-clown has decided Ballpark contests are a bit screwy.   The first prize may not be something you even want, especially after you understand what it is.   You might end up paying for the 2nd first prize.  The 3rd first prize might be darn tasty, but you have to fly out of state to get it.   Who has time for such nonsense?

I'm going to tell him to read the fine print next time.

Good night, Irene.

 

ANGEL HAIR

In May, when I visited our daughter in New Jersey, her hair was long enough to do this.

Unbraided, it was halfway down her back.   Her beautiful auburn-y, copperish, golden mane is one of her gifts.

She's now home in Florida for awhile.  One her fifth day home, she donated 8 and 1/2 inches of this beautiful hair to Angel Hair Foundation.

This organization crafts wigs from donated hair for kids with cancer or other hair-loss conditions.  Click on the link and see some touching, bald head 'before' and 'after' shots. 

Our daughter was tired of her long hair, because it was thick and hot, and she'd been growing it out for two and a half years.

I never get tired of it because I love to braid it and style it, and it's not fastened to my head like it is to hers.  She gave me five days to say good-bye, and then it was see ya later, alligator. 

My sweet hair stylist chopped the length and then shaped the remaining mass.   I'd never seen a ponytail free from its head before.  

Cool.  But kind of weird.

Once the hair was short, it sprang up into loose curls in the back.   And looked dark.  No sunshine had yet touched those hidden tresses.

Once the hair-shaping was finished, my girl succumbed to having her eyebrows waxed.  Eyebrow work is something she generally hates more than eating tomatoes (which she despises), but the stylist had the wax machine plugged in before my daughter could claw her way to the door. 

The end result of all the hair removal was beautiful.  We went to McDonalds to celebrate.  Big spenders, we are.

It warms my heart to think of sick youngins who might benefit from our daughter's lovely locks. 

This short new do is also timely, as she's just begun work as a substitute PE teacher.  Today, she did lunges and push-ups with elementary school kids.

She also dealt with a second-grader who got a bloody nose because she wouldn't keep her finger out of her nostril.   Who has time to mess with long hair when you have those kind of responsibilities?

God bless youngins everywhere, healthy ones and sick ones.  Ones with hair and ones without.  

May angels watch over them all.

13 REASONS to LOVE the BIRTHDAY BOY

Today is my husband's birthday.

A few years ago, I wrote him a limerick; last year, he wanted another one.  I told him limericks are intense, time-consuming, brain-racking work, and the laundry was really backed up this week.  (Besides, I had another idea.)

He said OK. 

I directed him to last year's limerick (CLICK HERE) , which he may or may not look at.  He doesn't really like re-runs.

This year, I wanted to write something else.  

A Baker's Dozen Reasons Why I Love the Birthday Boy. 

1. He's OK with not getting a second birthday limerick.

2.  He washes my car.  Regularly.  Shines the tires and everything.  He claims it runs better when it's clean. 

3.  He's tender and kind with people over 80, particularly our parents and the residents at Brookdale Senior Living.  

4.  In the Trent/Smalley personality test, he's a Golden Retriever.  Which means he's easy-going, dependable, loyal, and humorous.  All wonderful traits.  He's actually better than a Golden Retriever because he doesn't eat off the floor or poop in the yard.

5.  He's a patriotic guy who loved serving in the Air Force for twenty years.  During his active duty years, when he had a day off, my father always asked him who was protecting the country.

6.  He wells up watching Extreme Makeover, or Undercover Boss, and even some Publix commercials. When the handicapped kid opens the door to their new home, or the veteran returns home for the holidays...oh my.  We both start blinking.  There's something beautiful about tears in a man's eyes.

7.  He can make up stuff faster than anyone I know.  When our daughter was about 10, she wanted to know why urine is always yellow.  My husband replied that urine is waste, so the good things our body needs from the food we eat aren't yellow, but other colors.  Like purple.
"So vitamins are purple?" our daughter wondered.
"Yep," he said.

8.  He's an advocate kind of boss.  As a manager, he's the first to offer words of encouragement to his peeps.  He helps employees advance and succeed.  This makes me very proud.

9.  He can chop up any member of the gourd family that I bring home.  Acorn squash, butternut squash, spaghetti squash, or pumpkin. He has wrists of steel.

10.  He's generous.  He's not stingy about money or stuff.  In fact, he sometimes offers up resources we don't even have. How sweet is that.

11.  He supports everything I ever want to do.  From challenging the county school board, to writing a book, to making copious misshapen, fairly useless pottery bowls in art class.

12.  He brings me chocolate, even when I tell him not to. 

13.  He still makes me laugh.  He always has, but after 40 years of marriage, that is still a wonderful blessing.

Happy birthday, good guy husband!  I hope your day is wonderful!

love,
you know who  

CRACKER JACK Prize Winner!

Shock of all shocks.

The winner (all 5 answers correct) of the "Fancy-pants Giveaway" is my BROTHER.
  

The ex-clown.  Who doesn't even know what Coldwater Creek is.   Who doesn't even have a CC store nearby.

Really?!?

Unbelievable.

So I called him and told him he won the CC coupons.  He laughed.  Howled, really.

I asked him if he really wanted the coupons, explained that they were for a women's clothing store. 

So happens, he's going to be in Florida for work in about two weeks (staying with us), and he thought, if he won, he'd stop by our store here and pick out something for his wife.  

His wife wasn't thrilled with that idea.  What husband ever hits a home run when he picks out clothes for his wife?  Smart woman, my sister-in-law. 

So, I offered my brother something else.  I mean, he did win, fair and square.  I suggested something he might actually enjoy.  Dinner at Hurricane Grill (our favorite fish joint), or his favorite home-baked dessert.  He snapped up the fish dinner.

Food really is the way to a man's heart.   The CC coupons were dumped immediately.   He's an amiable guy, the ex-clown. 

SO.....I moved on to the next winner.  Who is Mari from Virginia (4 answers correct and first to respond).  Yay Mari!  I'll pop those coupons in the mail today.  Hope you find something wonderful.

The answers to the quiz:

1. As of the date the quiz was posted, I had NOT chopped up any mangoes.  I was too chicken.  However, just yesterday, I took the plunge and diced up a fat mango from the grocery store.  It was not as juicy or as huge as the ones that gave me trouble, but it had pretty much the same yummy factor.  

I ate the whole thing.  Then I scrubbed up to my elbows like a surgeon.  Twice.

So far, so good.

2.  My mom's back procedure was a kyphoplasty.  Which sounds nothing like what it is.   What the heck is a kypho?  I don't know, but it got plasted. 

3.  My thrift shop excursion cost me $16.42.  Everybody got this right.  My brother thought this was actually high for thrift shop shopping.   However, we've already determined that he knows nothing about women's clothes.

4.  My dear husband has been tending to my sweet rose bush. Quietly, he waters and fertilizes, and just recently told me that the thing thrives because he takes care of it.  I never knew this.  I really should pay attention to what goes on around here.

5.  Favorite TV show...

When Home Improvement, The X-files, MacGyver, and Lost were still running, they were all my favorite shows at the time they ran.   I would watch any of these today, if I could find them on re-runs.

However, Lost has stayed with me, where the others have faded a bit.  The writing was so innovative, the characters so interesting.  Several episodes moved me to tears.  Good writing does that to you.  You just don't get that with Jersey Shore.  

There you have it.  Thanks for playing!  All five of you.  You now know more about my life than you probably want to. 

(p.s. does anybody have any Hurricane Grill coupons they want to unload?)

FANCY-PANTS GIVEAWAY!

I've been blogging for just over a year, and it's time for a giveaway.

Keep in mind, I'm not Pioneer Woman, who gives away KitchenAid mixers and $350 Target gift cards. My prizes are more like the booty in the Cracker Jack box.

Today, I'm offering $35 in coupons to Coldwater Creek clothing store.

With Pioneer Woman, you simply have to type anything in the 'comments' box, and you're entered.   Winners are randomly drawn.  It must be this way, because Pioneer Woman has 20 million viewers a week. 

Here at the Ballpark, your odds of actually winning are much higher.  Like 1 in 4.  And with my giveaways, you actually have to use your brain.  Not much, but a little.  

Answer these five questions correctly, and I'll mail you these....

The bottom coupon expires 8/31, so you want to be on the ball here.

Off we go...

1.  A few weeks ago, I had a run-in with mango juice that resulted in a doctor's visit and medication.  In the post I wrote about that unfortunate event, I stated that when I was well, I was going to test that allergy again to see if I was truly allergic to mango skin.  Have I chopped up any mangoes since my arm has healed?

a.  yes
b.  no
c.  this is a stupid question


2.  In April, Mom had a procedure to repair a broken vertebra.  What was that procedure called?

a.  kyphoplasty
b.  fix-a-bone-aplasty
c.  vetebroplasty
d   plug-a-crackaplasty


3.  Below is a picture of seven shirts I recently purchased at a thrift shop. 

What was my total bill?

a.  $30.25
b.  $22.78
c.  $16.42


4.  I discovered yesterday that someone actually DOES tend to my sweet little rose bush.  Unbeknown to me, someone has been watering and fertilizing the tiny thing, keeping it alive and well, so I can continue to be amazed.  Who is my secret gardener?

a.  a neighbor
b.  my husband
c.  the mailman
d.  my dad


5. What is my favorite TV show of all time?

a.  Home Improvement
b.  The X-files
c.  MacGyver
d.  Lost

There ya' go!  Just enter the letter of your answer in the comment section (example:  1. a,  2. c), and I'll mail the CC coupons to the whoever gets the right answers.  Or the most right answers.  If more than one person answers all correctly, the coupons go to whoever answers first.   Deadline for entries is noon EST Wednesday August 10th.

Isn't this exciting?!?!

Not exactly the Publisher's Clearinghouse, but prizes might improve down the road. 

Good luck!